Nothing new

The season is winding down. The restaurant and hotel have five operational days left, then closes. We will do deep cleaning for a few days and  that will be that. The days are continually beautiful here. From what I hear its abnormal for this  time of year. It gets cold at night, in the teens. It is a dry cold and I is different than the wet cold of the Pacific Northwest. Work has slowed down and most of the people have left. We are running a skeleton crew right now. Last night I visited some friends in the local town Panguitch. They were housekeepers here. Doing some local visits while friends of theirs get their car repaired after hitting a deer. It was nice to see them and I got to take a hot bath. I think I took a layer of skin off. Probably three. We watched the election, which I didn't realize was occuring. I wasn't interested, though I I am glad that Obama won.

Any attempt at doing productive things has been a pain in the ass, meaning finding another job. For a while I was going over to our local general store, sitting on their porch, drinking coffee, sitting in the rising sun and drawing, but the store is now closed. I've diversified my workouts so that I'm lifting weights one day, swimming another, yoga another and repeat. Its harder this way, doing multiple things, but I'm enjoying the variety. Its forcing me to stretch horizontally. I've also been eating a lot more, so I've put on some weight, which I am enjoying. I'm fighting with myself mentally all the time, as part of me thinks I need to live right, which means yoga everyday, vegetarian meals and deep meditation, but that doesn't seem appropriate given my circumstances right now. There is a time and place for that kind of behavior, but not now. I also like how I am living in that I feel more human and less like apart from people. Its harder in some ways but I think its the right fight now.

Yesterday I took a walk on the peek-a-boo trail. I haven't been on a walk in a while. Felt the need to get out and wasn't disappointed. The sun was out and it was a five and a half mile walk through beautiful formations that reminded me of a shorter version of the fairyland trek. I took a picture for three girls who were on the path. The girl with the camera with white hair said 'fancy' to the picture. They were from somewhere else. Stopped and talked to two older men who were visiting via Ottawa and spent some time during the year in Bradenton, Florida. I enjoyed the stillness that comes with being out in nature. Life in the kitchen is schizophrenic, whereas in nature its silent and one.

Most people are gone. It doesn't bother me. Several people mention the sadness that comes. I experienced it but only briefly. I don't mind being alone. I actually need it I think. I enjoy people, but I also require downtime, so that I may interact, and right now, particularly working in the kitchen, its constant interaction. Alone or quiet time is rare, so its appreciated. Being out in nature brings back together that which is shattered. And sometimes it is necessary to shatter very hard.

Hope all is well.

Jamie